The tiny one is in bed. We live in hope that he stays down until 11 when he will feed again. No doubt he will wake up several times a night and anytime between 3 and four for a feed again. think the endless sleepless nights are the hardest part. It makes everything just that little bit tougher. But we will get there. I know we will.

Today we celebrate our Mother. Or rather being a Mom. My jury is still out on the whole thing. The adjustment is mind bending. Looking down at my littlest boy in his bath it is all swimmingly wonderful. The crazy vulnerability of a naked baby just pulls my brain out through my heart. Happiness is a floating four month old. He smiles up and pulls on his testicles (this obviously start early) and just looks delighted with himself. Twenty minutes later he screams as he is going to sleep - for over ten minutes. This is how it is at the moment. The screaming will stop at some point and he will learn to sleep like his Dad, I am sure of it.

I am at home for the moment - redundant from outside work. At times this being at home lark is wonderful but by the end of a week I feel like a crazy person. A friend reckons one needs a certain kind of zen in order to be at home with the kids all day. I am searching...